Ever find yourself getting caught up rehashing a situation from work, its 3am and it’s still playing out in your head? Or getting worked up over something in the middle of the day, that distracts you from the to-do list, taking action etc. My client Lisa used to have it happen quite a bit. Till we met that is. Because the first thing we worked on, were strategies for letting go.
One of the techniques, we worked on is a very simple question.
Is it a fact or is it a feeling?
It’s sometimes really useful to be able to separate, what’s going on. Or on deeper level recognise when it’s a feeling about a fact (situation, conversation, experience etc)
Ie. The weather right now.……
We can decide the ‘weather is crap right now’ and get really worked up about it. Or we can say ‘I feel very frustrated by the wet weather at the moment’.
Our feelings aren’t fact. They are our feelings. Influenced by our attitude, beliefs, values, innate personality and more.
Whilst it takes work, we can actually with understanding choose our feelings. We can recognise when they (feelings) are meant to be an alert signal only. We don’t have to act, respond or react to every feeling. Perhaps something is taking us out of our comfort zone, perhaps causing a variety of negative emotions. They are feelings. We get to choose our response.
Our behaviour comes next.
We also get to choose how we behave. With awareness. When we are self-aware and when we are aware of others.
Could it be useful to let go of emotions that are perhaps sabotaging rather than serving?
Ask yourself, is it fact or feeling first?
Then maybe you can choose, note the alert signal and not buy into the ‘drama’ of the emotion. Particularly if it’s a huge distraction in your workday or keeping you awake at night.
P.S Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 ways I can help you develop and work on your business leadership capabilities:
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- Join our next Mental Fitness for Leaders Program
Helping leaders develop their skills for well-being, relationship and conflict management, productivity and peak performance in the workplace. If you’d like to work with me on your business leadership skills to ensure high engagement, accountability and results for and across the team…message PQ to me here and I’ll get you all the details.
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Would you like a different perspective and someone else at the front of the room or on zoom/teams to lead regular and consistent team building, accountability and engaging learning experiences, that drive results and outcomes for individuals, teams and the business? If you feel a little challenged with everything going on, maybe sounding like a cracked recorded saying things over and over again, or actually not 100% how to motivate and inspire the team, given the current nature of business, it’s may be useful for us to chat. Message TEAM to me here… and tell me a little about the business, your team and what you’d like to work on together.